My little ‘Dove’ Camera and self esteem

I have never been particularly interested in photography but recently I saw that Dove had a promotion which offered a free camera for the cost of shipping, so I ordered one with the idea if we really enjoy it we can get a better one. So far I have not taken anything too interesting. Most of the shots are goof ups as I tried to take a picture from the truck of a bear and wound up taking the side mirror instead, or the crack in the windshield instead of the mountains. It doesn’t take great pictures of course but I will persevere and see if I can develop a taste for it. My husband was quite a photography buff at one time and maybe I can encourage him to take it up again, as the new cameras are so much cheaper and we can print or save etc ourselves which is good because we have rolls of film from yester year that still need developing.

There was a book included in the package about self esteem. The idea is to help women and girls change the way they perceive themselves and free them from beauty stereotypes. I find that even at sixty I still am highly motivated to keep up appearances. I think obsessively so actually. I hate having my photo taken because I have yet to come to terms with the signs of aging especially as I tend to think I am about 19 on the inside. The book suggests we find the ‘true you’. Uncovering who you really are which is not about the outside at all is it?

It asks if I am satisfied with the way my body looks. NO. I would like to drop some weight, that spare tire and tummy bothers me no end.

It asks if I could change something about the way I look. YES I hate my double chin.

I tried to take a self portrait but all I could see were the bags under my eyes and the chin so I am sticking with the one I have on the blog which was taken July 8, 1998, which was my wedding photo to my current husband.

Funny that I am so hard on myself, I wonder how others see me. I have a friend (she does not read this blog) who is confined to a wheelchair, who has lost a child in a horrific accident, whose husband has had a stroke and she would be considered poor by many. Although she is not pretty or beautiful in the conventional way, in fact most people would pass her over in the looks department, she is to me one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. Her inner beauty shines out for all the world to see. She is radiant in spite of pain and misfortune. She has a strong Christian faith and she is the best advertisment for it that I have seen.

3 Responses

  1. I’d never taken many photographs and just used the “throw away” type cameras for high days and holidays. Then last year I bought myself a small digital camera…now it’s like my third eye and I have folder upon folder full of photos on my computer…I even started two photo blogs! Now as well as being a gardenholic I’m also a photoholic! Like you though I HATE having my photo taken. I can understand what you mean about your friend’s beauty shining out of her…sadly many people don’t take the time to find inner beauty and judge people by their outward appearance.

  2. I think sometimes I’d like to have a nice digital camera but I’m not really sure I am up to learning that type of technology. Generally I just use the little disposable cameras for whatever occasions pop up that a Kodak moment would be nice to have. I’m like you -and Ruth too – hate to have my picture taken and I have been that way since I was about 10-12 years old when I started to become self-conscious about my mouth/teeth-crooked, protruding. Now, it’s that added to the extra rolls of flab from my neck down to the top of my legs! But, your description of your friend reminds me of the adage “Beauty is only skin deep” and how often people do judge mainly on appearance and not much beyond that.

  3. Why is it that women are never satisfied with how they look and men don’t give a damn and think they are wonderful anyway?

    I think Dove is trying to make us get over it, but I think it’s built into our DNA.
    I have this lament that although we are almost the same age I don’t look as good as Sophia Loren. But I didn’t look as good as her when we were both twenty so why should I now?
    I put up two photos of myself on my blog on Saturday for the photo hunt. They were taken 50 years apart. Now there’s a shock. In a way it’s kind of interesting because, like you, I still think of myself as young inside, only 35 which I have always considered the optimum age.

    I am enjoying my digital camera which I got almost a year ago. I take a million photos and then delete the ones which are hopeless. So much better than film.

    Sorry this comment is almost as long as your post.

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