A tribute to a friend

I have a friend who has multiple sclerosis quite badly. She is not beautiful by glossy magazine standards but to me she has always had great beauty for she glows with joy and is always smiling. This wonderful woman lost a son in a dreadful accident, but she came through that great sorrow radiating love to all around her. She had always been a heroine of mine. I don’t know if she reads my blog, I don’t think so. She is a strong Christian and is one of the best examples of the Christian life in action that I have ever seen. She always enjoys a joke and she sent me this yesterday. It is quite funny I thought.

Dear God,

Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? When dogs get to heaven, can they sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the “Chrysler Eagle” the “Chrysler Beagle”?

If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3 I will not munch on “leftovers” in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty, they are not food.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a face towel neither are Mom and Dad’s laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying “hello”.
11. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
16. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.

And, finally, my last question. When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

5 Responses

  1. Sorry … I’ve not been by lately. Great post Vic.

  2. Aw, how true from a dog’s point of view. I’ve had dogs over my lifetime that did many of these things and loved ’em all anyway. I can only think of one that was banned from the sofa and that was way back when my grandmother ruled the house. All the rest grudgingly learned to share sofa space with the humans in the place. Just a really cute piece!

  3. Hey Vic, i have been a terrible lurker lately.
    Everyone is going crazy with blogger choice awards, so i nominated you for two.
    Hope you don’t mind? Its more fun than serious but i thought your blog deserved it.


  4. Oh Vic! That brought tears of laughter to my eyes!!! As a certified dog lover and present owner of two dogs, that was terrific.

    Isn’t amazing how people who are “challenged” can rise so far above their illness and teach us all great things???

  5. That is so true! Especially 10 and 11.

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