On again but for how long

Its 6:15 am and I am checking my e-mail. We have been without power again.

After I last wrote it went off again, until late last night. Hopefully it is here to stay. It is -8 degrees right now.

I will write again later if we have power.

Power on again

Our power went out late yesterday afternoon, we were told that we would not get it back until Wednesday, and maybe not then, but here we are, it came on about an hour ago. I certainly can’t complain about BC Hydro, those guys are out in all weathers.

The Mayor of the village was about to declare a state of emergency because many people do not use woodstoves as we do, and it is pretty cold. He still might, because the roads are completely blocked by blown down trees and over 3ft of snow. The highway people are working on clearing Highway 16 which is about 50km out from here. If we have anyone sick though they will send in a helicopter.

I could not sleep last night, you could hear the silence. It is pretty quiet here at any time, but with no fans, no refrigerator, plus the blanketing of all outside sounds by the snow it was eerie. I could hear the roof creaking as it adjusted under all that snow.

We spent all day clearing it, my husband on the roof and deck, and I did the driveway, over 40ft of it. I am starting to ache, I probably won’t be able to move tomorrow.

We keep promising to buy ourselves a snow blower, but usually our snow is light and dry and easy to remove, this stuff was wet and heavy. Even a snow blower would have had a time with it.

We read by candlelight last night, it is not all that romantic I found, just made my eyes blurry, I cooked supper on the woodstove in the dark, but we were warm, well fed and that is more than a lot of the people in the world can say.

Snowed in

Woke up this morning to about 5″ of snow. I was sitting in the living room as the sun came up and two boulders suddenly got up shook the snow off and plodded away. Two moose had been sleeping in the snow not more than 50 ft from where I was drinking my first cup of coffee.

The snow has kept on all day, we now have over 12″. The roads are closed to the village and the satellite dish is not working too well. Maybe we will have a power out although the lights are not flickering but I have the candles out.

Changes

My three year old boy, ran in from playing outside with his brothers. He clambered on my lap with his cowboy hat and toy gun and started to nurse. I was a strong proponent of self-weaning. He suddenly stopped, sat up on my lap and announced, “I am a big boy now” and pushed my breast away, he had chosen to move on in his life. This was my last child, an era had come to an expected close, and that special time was over for ever.

The next closure was when the last child left home for good. I felt relieved, on the one hand, that my mothering duties were over, but tearful for the close of another era in my life. All three boys had left for another province, because of the need for work, so it was hard to accept that I would not see them very often.

After the boys all left home we sold the house. It was too large for just the two of us, and we chose to move to a small retirement village in northern Canada. I did not find it hard to move, the house echoed with voices now far away, and it was time for us to go. We have been here now for three years, and I like the area and am happy to be here. My husband who is a young sixty-eight is content to fish and mess about in his work shop, and I am pleased he is finding his retirement rewarding.

However, I am only fifty-nine years old and most of our new friends are, at the very least, fifteen years older than I am. It seems the phone only rings because someone is dying or is already dead. In an age when, God willing, I could live another forty years, I am beginning to wonder if this is the end, and I have been tempted to become depressed. However on reading the book of Job I am reminded that God always has a plan, and I just have to wait until He shows me the next stage. Maybe His plan is that I learn patience.

There is a biblical promise that says “Your future will be brighter by far than your past” so I am banking on that.

Acknowledging our fears

Most people suffer from some degree of . There is a whole list of fears or ranging from Acrophobia – fear of heights to Zoophobia – the fear of animals. My list shows about 200 but there are no doubt more.

We don’t know how many people we cross in our daily lives are suffering from some form of anxiety, how many are impeded in their daily life by fear. Fear brings torment of the mind and emotions and many learn to function inspite of their fear, but they do not have freedom.

One of the major fears most of us suffer is fear of rejection. I think, and claim, that I am a pretty outspoken person and don’t care much what people think, but when the rubber hits the road I realize that is not true at all. We all want approval, to be liked, our view points applauded and our efforts praised.

How many times could we have done something new and exciting but were afraid of failure. How many times have I found myself in a room full of people, I don’t know, and I am expected to go up and introduce myself and start making small talk. Horrors!

Funnily enough I could give a lecture to a full room but don’t ask me to go to a party where I have to actually meet people. I don’t know if that is fear or introversion. Any way fear of strangers is called Xenophobia.

However it is just as well none of us who are writing our blogs have Graphophobia – fear of writing and I am glad I don’t suffer from fear of snow, Chionophobia, because I think we are about to get some. I am glad I don’t suffer from Pogonophobia – fear of beards or hubby would have to shave and I kind of like his fuzz, and I am glad I don’t have to worry about Maieusiophobia any more – fear of getting pregnant, so that just leave Arachnophobia – fear of spiders and that is a fear I am still working to overcome.

I don’t mean to make light of anyone’s fears, we all have them, but it is a good exercise to try to identify the source of our fears. What is their root? I know my fear of spiders was made worse by someone close to me who had no fear of them, but would pick them up and threaten me with them. It did not help me overcome my repugnance of spiders.

When my children were growing up on the lower Mainland of British Columbia, where there are some very large spiders I tried not to show my fear, because I was aware that fear is often a learned behaviour. If a spider was in the house I would have one of the boys put a glass over it and I would suggest they draw pictures of it or study it until Dad came home. I don’t think I fooled them, but none of them are afraid of them either.

I am glad that where I live now there are very few spiders and what I do see are quite tiny, so relocation has helped me overcome that particular fear.

Birds that visit us

We have a who comes and visits us quite often and it has a repotoire of sounds it makes. It was sitting on the deck fence going through them this morning.

If you are looking for a bird who can make eagle calls, squealing brakes, dog barks, to name a few I can direct you.

I love the chickadees that come to the feeder, they take one seed at a time and fly back to the safety of the trees to eat it, hammering away at the sunflower seed until they get the meat inside. I also have a lump of suet hanging by the feeder and the woodpeckers like to come and take a beakful.

I think my favourite birds visting us at this time of year are the Whiskey Jacks or Grey Jays. They are a very handsome bird and can get quite tame.

It is wonderful to be able to sit in the morning with my husband, enjoy our coffee and watch the antics of the birds. It is part of retirement which we both enjoy.

God has certainly put a lot of variety on the earth.

Went fishing today

This morning we went down to the little lake that is about 10 minutes down the road. It was lovely, the sun shining, the loons calling and the water very calm with little circles all over from the fish rising. It was a bit chilly but we were both dressed warmly, and later when the sun came out we were quite toasty.

This is probably the last time I will go out this year, it is getting a bit too cold, but the hardy fisherman I am married to will still go out, I am sure. The trouble is I like to go for a couple of hours, but he likes to go around “just one more time” and again!

We caught six good size trout, so not too bad. We also lost quite a few and had lots of nibbles. We had pan fried trout for supper.

Technorati Tag